When I started taking lithium at age 23, I only thought of my bipolar. How the lithium would help “fix” my bipolar. (I also took a couple other psychotropic medications at that time as well to create a balance. As I still do.) At age 25, I had a few health complications and was told I had hypothyroidism. Lithium induced hypothyroidism. It would never go away. I would always require medication. Take synthroid once a day. A sure and easy “fix” to the hypothyroidism.
What is Hypothyroidism? It is an underactive thyroid. What’s important is knowing the symptoms.
- Fatigue
- Increased sensitivity to cold
- Constipation
- Dry skin
- Weight gain or difficulty losing weight (despite reduced food intake)
- Puffy face
- Hoarseness
- Muscle weakness
- Elevated blood cholesterol level
- Muscle aches, tenderness and stiffness
- Pain, stiffness or swelling in your joints
- Heavier than normal or irregular menstrual periods
- Thinning hair
- Slowed heart rate
- Depression
- Memory loss**
A couple years ago I began exhibiting some of these symptoms again. Then almost all of them. My primary care doctor ordered blood work then changed my synthroid dosage. I got better. A few months would go by and I’d start feeling the same things. I’d see my doctor. He’d order blood work then change the dosage again. Around and around. I’m currently in the process of finding the right specialist.
The lithium has been, over time, the stable constant psychotropic medication that has worked for me. I do not make any endorsement of it in my writings. It is simply a great choice for me. But even if I stopped it today, I would still have hypothyroidism. I would still have gained the 35 lbs in 2 years filled with exercise and healthy eating. I have struggled with depression wondering if it is a bipolar depression or a thyroid depression. I have a support system that helps to keep tabs on me. But since I live on my own, I know it is so important to be ever vigilant in my mental health care. Luckily, my lab work tells me if the thyroid is off balance.
I admit, sometimes I feel overwhelmed and/or angry about the situation. Why did God make me bipolar? Why does lithium have to be so destructive? Why does my body have to fall apart all the time? Woe Is Me!
But let me tell you something. I am so grateful for all the times when I feel healthy and happy. Yet it’s the feeling happy that helps get through the unhealthy times. Sometimes it can take time to get my thyroid depression to go away simply because it can take time for the medication and thyroid itself to level out. So I have to be willing to go to my psychiatrist for help. I know that it’s a thyroid depression that will be gone in about a month. Or just two weeks. But do I really want to live that much longer like this? My psychiatrist doesn’t always give me a prescription. Sometimes it’s just a pep-talk and the recognition of her awareness and a doctor’s appointment within 2-4 weeks to check up on me that makes all the difference. I’ve taken lithium for nearly 14 years, and I will continue to do so. My doctors are all aware that I am bipolar. That I take lithium and that won’t change anytime soon. That I have hypothyroidism, and it’s unstable. And that I do my best to stay healthy and happy.
As to God giving me bipolar. Maybe I agreed in the Heavens Above to have this before I was born. Why oh why? Some days it’s a mystery. But I tell you this, I am grateful that if I have to have bipolar and take lithium, and if I have to have hypothyroidism, then I am grateful that God provides the many means for a healthy and happy life. Especially happy!
‘Til next time,
Arla
