All Things Amazing!: Grief and Recovery: Swirling, Strumming, Strangling

A friend of mine lost her husband last night. He passed away telling her how much he loved her. They had only known each other for four years, but he was the light of her life and the joy in her children’s lives as well.

I found out about it on Facebook. This was appropriate for our level of friendship. I was sitting in the doctor’s office. As I read her post I made an audible cry of sadness. And then I began to cry. Not so much outwardly. Just those leaky tears that you have to constantly brush away but don’t mess up your makeup. Yet inwardly my heart cried tremendously. How could God take her husband away from her? Why would God even bring such happiness only to take it away so soon? And so many more questions.

I must confess, part of the pain I feel for my friend is pain I identify in my own life. Perhaps that’s why this news has grieved me so greatly. Only her grief has a more final mark.

Four and a half years ago I met the man I’d come to love. We had some wonderful times. He is a wonderful man. Eventually, a few years later, however, he left one night. He didn’t pass away. He just slipped away without a word. No reason. Just gone.

Those same questions: How could God take him away from me? Why would God bring him into my life only to take him away? Swirl, Strum, and Strangle my brain and heart. And then I asked- through the Void- God, what can I do to survive? What can I do to keep going? Once I made it through the Void, I continued to ask God, How can I continue to have happiness in my life. What must I do to have Your guidance in my life?

Always, always, I feel urged to pray. Pray first for him. Then for me. I pray that he is happy- feels fulfilled in life. That he does remember me, but is able to keep going on, guided by God, Himself.

This may seem a bit odd of an entry, but when you’ve loved one so deeply and you’ve lost them, in any way, the way you process that grief is vital for recovery. Do you get stuck in the Why did this happen? Why did God take that person away? Or are you able to move forward to What can I do to feel better? Be happier? In these difficult, tragic, devastating times, this process of grief and recovery is ever evolving. We can go back and forth, up and down. If we can reach that calming peaceful state the most often, then I believe we are closest to that “recovery”. Or rather, we are most close to the love that we feel for God, our loved ones, and then the despair of grief is a hint in our lives.

God loves each of us. He knows there will be times, many times, that we may ask Him Why? Or, How Could You? Yet, He is still always there listening and loving. Our recovery can be a daily process. So today is a day that I pray for my love, and for my friend who has lost her love.